List of LGBTQ+ Terms and Inclusive Definitions
Language is living. LGBTQ+ communities keep inventing words to describe real experiences, sometimes to claim joy, sometimes to name harm, sometimes to find each other in a world that doesn’t always make room. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by all the letters, labels, and slang, you’re not alone.
I wrote this glossary-style guide to help you understand common LGBTQ+ terms, use them respectfully, and know when to ask (and when to simply listen). This blends community language with health and education terminology, and includes links for deeper learning.
How to use this glossary
- Start with self-identification: the “right” word is the one a person uses for themselves.
- Ask when it matters: “What pronouns do you use?” and “What term feels best for you?” usually land better than assumptions.
- Don’t treat terms like diagnoses: these words describe identities, experiences, and communities—not problems to solve.
- Expect regional and cultural variation: a term can be common in one place and unknown (or offensive) in another.
- Hold labels lightly: many people stay fluid, some people dislike labels, and that’s valid.
Foundations: the building blocks
Before we define labels, we need a shared map. Most misunderstandings happen because people mix up sex, gender, and orientation. They’re related, but they aren’t the same thing.
LGBTQ+
An umbrella acronym commonly used to describe people who are lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer/questioning, and others under the “+”. Some communities add letters (e.g., LGBTQIA+) to explicitly include identities like intersex and asexual.
- Tip: If you’re not sure which acronym to use, ask the community you’re in. In Canada, you’ll often see 2SLGBTQI+.
2SLGBTQI+ (also written 2S/LGBTQI+)
A version of the acronym that places Two-Spirit (2S) first, recognizing Indigenous Two-Spirit communities in Canada. The rest typically includes lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, plus other identities.
- Use with care: “Two-Spirit” is culturally specific. It isn’t a generic synonym for “LGBTQ+.”
SOGI / SOGIE / SOGIESC
Acronyms used in policy, education, and human rights work. These terms often show up in research, workplace policy, and school guidelines:
- SOGI = Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
- SOGIE = Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression
- SOGIESC = Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression, and Sex Characteristics
Sex (assigned at birth)
A classification—often recorded at birth—based on visible anatomy and other biological traits. Many systems treat sex as strictly “male” or “female,” but biology is more diverse than that (see intersex).
Sex characteristics
Physical traits related to sex (for example, internal and external reproductive anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes). This language is common in intersex and human-rights contexts because it describes biology without forcing a binary.
Gender
A social and personal concept that includes roles, expectations, and identity (e.g., woman, man, non-binary). Gender norms vary across cultures and time.
Gender identity
Your internal sense of your gender—whether that’s woman, man, non-binary, or something else. You can’t “diagnose” someone’s gender identity from their appearance.
Gender expression
How you show your gender to the world—clothes, hair, voice, mannerisms, and more. Expression doesn’t “prove” identity. A masculine woman is still a woman; a feminine man is still a man; a non-binary person can present in any style.
Sexual orientation
Who you’re sexually and/or romantically attracted to (or not attracted to). Sexual orientation is different from gender identity.
Romantic orientation
Who you feel romantic attraction toward (or not). Some people experience romantic attraction and sexual attraction differently (for example, a person can be asexual and still experience romantic attraction).
Cisgender (cis)
A person whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. “Cis” is not an insult; it’s a descriptor.
Trans / Transgender
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some trans people transition socially, medically, and/or legally; others do not, and they’re still trans.
Intersex
An umbrella term for people born with variations in sex characteristics that don’t fit typical notions of strictly male or strictly female bodies. Some intersex traits are noticed at birth; others appear at puberty or later.
- Important: Intersex is about sex characteristics, not sexual orientation.
If you want a deeper foundation, try: Planned Parenthood’s explainer on sexual orientation vs. gender and the American Psychiatric Association’s definitions and pronoun guidance.
Sexual & romantic orientation terms
Orientation labels describe patterns of attraction. They don’t require experience to “count.” Attraction, identity, and behavior can overlap—but they aren’t identical.
Lesbian
Most commonly, a woman who is emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to women. Some non-binary people also identify as lesbian because they connect with womanhood and primarily love women.
- Inclusive note: Many lesbians date or love trans women (who are women). Avoid implying otherwise.
Gay
A person who is attracted to people of the same gender. People often use “gay” for men who love men, but many women and non-binary people also use it.
- Language tip: Don’t use “the gay community” as a catch-all; it can erase bi, trans, ace, and other identities.
Bisexual / Bi
Attraction to more than one gender. Bi does not mean “attracted to men and women only” for everyone; many bi people describe attraction across genders.
- Myth-busting: Bi is not a “phase,” and bi people do not become straight or gay depending on who they’re dating.
Pansexual
Attraction that can include people of many genders. Some describe pansexuality as attraction “regardless of gender,” while others emphasize attraction across the gender spectrum.
- Overlap: Many people see pansexual and bisexual as overlapping umbrellas. Let people choose the word that fits.
Queer
A broad term some people use to describe identities and orientations outside of straight and cisgender norms. Many embrace it because it feels flexible; others avoid it because it has a history as a slur.
- Rule of thumb: If someone doesn’t self-identify as queer, don’t label them that way.
Questioning
Exploring your sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Questioning can be brief or lifelong. People also use words like “curious.”
Asexual (Ace)
Experiencing little or no sexual attraction. Some asexual people feel romantic attraction; others don’t. Asexuality is a spectrum, not a single experience.
- Common misconception: Asexual does not automatically mean “hates sex.” Some ace people enjoy sex, some don’t, and many feel neutral.
Aromantic (Aro)
Experiencing little or no romantic attraction. Aromantic people may be sexual, asexual, or anywhere on the spectrum.
Demiromantic / Demisexual
Feeling romantic and/or sexual attraction primarily after forming a strong emotional bond. People often describe: “I don’t feel it until I really know someone.”
Gray-asexual / Gray-A
Experiencing sexual attraction rarely or under specific circumstances. Some people use gray-asexual to describe a space between asexual and allosexual experiences.
Allosexual / Alloromantic
Experiencing sexual attraction (allosexual) and/or romantic attraction (alloromantic) in ways that are common in mainstream culture. These words help people talk without framing ace/aro experiences as “abnormal.”
Heterosexual (Straight)
Attraction primarily to a different gender. “Straight” can describe both orientation and a cultural assumption that straightness is the default (see heteronormativity).
WLW / MLM
Abbreviations you’ll see online. People use these when they want to talk about shared experiences without locking into one label:
- WLW = women who love women (broadly, including many bi/pan women)
- MLM = men who love men (broadly, including many bi/pan men)
MSM / WSW
Public health terms that describe behavior, not identity. A person can be MSM and not identify as gay or bi:
- MSM = men who have sex with men
- WSW = women who have sex with women
For a clean primer and a Canadian lens, explore: Stonewall LGBTQ+ terms list and Rainbow Health Ontario glossary.
Gender identity & gender expression terms
Gender language can feel complicated because it mixes identity, culture, and lived experience. A helpful anchor: gender is something you are, while gender expression is something you do. They often relate, but they don’t have to match.
Non-binary (NB, “enby”)
A broad term for people whose gender is not exclusively woman or man. Non-binary people can identify as having no gender, multiple genders, a shifting gender, or a gender outside the binary.
- Reminder: Non-binary is a real identity, not a “trend.”
- Pronouns: Many non-binary people use they/them, but not all. Ask.
Genderqueer
A term for people whose gender identity and/or expression falls outside dominant norms. Some use it interchangeably with non-binary; others see it as a political or cultural stance too.
Genderfluid
A person whose gender identification and presentation can shift over time. The shift can be subtle or dramatic, frequent or rare.
Agender
A person who does not identify with any gender or who experiences gender as absent/neutral. Agender people can dress any way and use any pronouns.
Gender-expansive
An umbrella term for people who broaden their culture’s typical expectations about gender—through identity, expression, or both. Some use it for kids/youth because it can feel less fixed than “trans,” but adults also use it.
Gender nonconforming (GNC)
Describes gender expression that doesn’t follow a society’s expectations (for example, a man who presents femme or a woman who presents masc). GNC usually describes expression, not necessarily identity.
Androgynous
A style/presentation that blends masculine and feminine cues, or sits between them. People can look androgynous regardless of their gender identity.
AFAB / AMAB
Acronyms meaning Assigned Female at Birth and Assigned Male at Birth. People use them to talk about sex assignment without assuming someone’s current gender.
- Use thoughtfully: Helpful in medical/educational contexts; not always needed casually.
- Respect: Using “AFAB/AMAB” as a substitute for someone’s actual gender can erase them.
Trans man / Transgender man
A man who was assigned female at birth. Many write “trans man” (with a space) to emphasize that “trans” is an adjective describing a kind of man—not separate from manhood.
Trans woman / Transgender woman
A woman who was assigned male at birth. Same grammar note: “trans” is an adjective.
Transmasculine / Transfeminine
Terms some use when their gender identity or expression leans masculine (transmasc) or feminine (transfem), without necessarily identifying as a binary man or woman. Some binary trans people also use these; some don’t.
Transition
The process of living more authentically in your gender. Transition can include social changes (name, pronouns, clothing), legal changes (IDs), and/or medical care (hormones or surgery). There is no single “right” path.
Gender-affirming care
Health care and support that helps a person’s body, presentation, or documentation align with their gender identity. It can include mental health support, primary care, hormones, or surgeries—depending on what the person wants and needs.
- Key point: Not every trans person wants or can access medical steps.
Gender dysphoria
Distress/discomfort that can occur when someone’s body or how others perceive them doesn’t align with their gender identity. Not every trans person experiences dysphoria, and many also talk about gender euphoria.
Gender euphoria
Joy, relief, or rightness when someone’s gender is recognized and affirmed—by themselves, by others, or through expression and care.
Drag (drag queen / drag king)
Theatrical performance of gender, often through clothing, makeup, voice, and persona. Drag is an art form and expression; it does not automatically indicate someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
Cross-dresser
A person who wears clothing not traditionally associated with their assigned sex or perceived gender. Cross-dressing does not imply any specific orientation or gender identity.
Two-Spirit (2S)
A modern umbrella term used by some Indigenous people in North America to describe genders and roles that may differ from Western binary categories. Two-Spirit is culturally rooted; it is not a label for non-Indigenous people.
For deeper definitions, browse: UC Davis LGBTQIA glossary or the PFLAG glossary.
Pronouns, names, and respectful language
Pronouns and names are not “special requests.” They’re basic respect. The simplest approach is also the most human: use the words people ask you to use. If you mess up, correct yourself quickly and move on.
Pronouns
Words we use in place of someone’s name in conversation (he/him, she/her, they/them). Many list pronouns in bios, email signatures, or introductions.
- Best practice: Introduce yours first (“Hi, I’m Sam, I use they/them.”) to make sharing easier for others.
They/them
Singular “they” has a long history in English, and many non-binary people use they/them pronouns. Some people also use they/them alongside another set (see mixed pronouns).
Neopronouns
Gender-neutral pronouns beyond “they,” such as ze/zir, ey/em, or others. Some use neopronouns because they feel more specific or more affirming.
- Practical tip: Ask for an example sentence and practice privately.
Mixed pronouns
Using more than one set of pronouns (e.g., she/they or he/they). Often this means both sets are okay, but some people have preferences about when each is used—so it’s fine to ask.
Misgendering
Referring to someone using language (especially pronouns or gendered titles) that does not reflect their gender. Misgendering can be accidental or intentional; either way, it can cause harm.
Deadname / Deadnaming
A deadname is a name a trans or non-binary person no longer uses (often their birth-assigned name). Using that name—especially after you know better—is called deadnaming.
- Respectful alternative: Use someone’s current name (sometimes called a lived name or chosen name).
Lived name / Chosen name
A name someone uses in daily life that may differ from their legal name. “Preferred name” is less common now because it can sound optional—like you’re choosing whether to respect it.
Outing
Sharing someone’s LGBTQ+ identity without their consent. Even if you think you’re “helping,” outing can create real safety risks.
What to say when you make a mistake
- ✅ “Sorry—they said they’ll be late.” (Correct + move on.)
- ❌ “I’m the worst, I’m trying, please forgive me…” (Now the other person has to comfort you.)
- ✅ “Thanks for correcting me.” (Then practice.)
For a clear explainer: Trevor Project guide to gender identities and pronouns.
Community, culture, and power words
Some LGBTQ+ terms describe identity; others name the environment we live in: systems of power, cultural assumptions, and community history. Learning these words helps explain why “small jokes” land as harm, and why representation and safety matter.
Ally
Someone who supports LGBTQ+ people and actively works against discrimination—even when it’s inconvenient. Real allyship is not a badge; it’s a practice.
- Action steps: believe people, amplify voices, challenge bias, keep learning.
Coming out
The process of sharing your sexual orientation and/or gender identity with others. Coming out is personal—people can be out in some spaces and not others.
In the closet / Closeted
Not sharing one’s LGBTQ+ identity publicly or in certain settings. People may stay closeted for safety, family, employment, housing, or personal reasons.
Pride
Both a feeling (pride in self and community) and a set of events/movements that celebrate LGBTQ+ lives and history. Pride can be parties, protests, vigils, art, education, and community care.
Chosen family
The people you build “family” with through care and commitment—especially important for LGBTQ+ people who experience rejection from biological relatives.
Heteronormativity
The cultural assumption that everyone is straight and that straight relationships are the default. It shows up in forms, school curricula, media, and everyday conversation.
Cisnormativity
The assumption that everyone is cisgender and that gender is binary. Cisnormativity appears when systems force “male/female only” options or treat trans identities as exceptions that need justification.
Cissexism / Genderism
Discrimination rooted in the belief that there are only two “real” genders and that gender must align with sex assigned at birth. This can show up in policy, healthcare barriers, and social exclusion.
Intersectionality
A framework for understanding how multiple identities (race, gender, disability, class, sexuality, etc.) overlap and shape lived experience. It’s a reminder: “LGBTQ+” is not one single story.
QTPOC / QTIPOC
Acronyms used to name experiences at the intersection of being queer/trans and being a person of color—highlighting that racism and queerphobia can operate together.
Microaggression
Subtle comments/behaviors—intentional or not—that communicate bias (“You don’t look gay,” “What’s your real name?”). They add up over time.
Homophobia / Biphobia / Transphobia
Prejudice, discomfort, or hostility toward gay/lesbian people, bi people, and trans people. These can show up as jokes, exclusion, violence, or policies restricting rights and care.
Queer liberation
A broad idea/movement aiming not just for “tolerance,” but for deep social change—so LGBTQ+ people can live with safety, dignity, and freedom.
One of the biggest searchable glossaries available publicly: PFLAG National glossary.
Relationships, dating, and family terms
LGBTQ+ language isn’t only about attraction. It also reflects how people build relationships, families, and commitment—sometimes outside mainstream scripts.
Partner
A gender-neutral relationship term that can describe a spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, significant other, or committed person in your life. It avoids assumptions and supports privacy in mixed-safety environments.
Significant other (SO)
Another gender-neutral term for someone you’re dating or committed to. Some use it for longer-term relationships; others use it casually.
Monogamy
Having one intimate partner at a time. Many LGBTQ+ people are monogamous, and many aren’t—neither makes a relationship more “real.”
Non-monogamy
An umbrella term for relationship structures involving more than two people romantically and/or sexually, with consent and agreement (open relationships, swinging, polyamory, etc.).
Polyamory
A form of consensual non-monogamy where people have (or are open to having) multiple romantic relationships, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
- Respect note: Polyamory is about consent, not secrecy.
Open relationship
A relationship agreement that allows partners to have sexual and/or romantic connections with others. “Open” can mean many things; clarity matters more than the label.
Queerplatonic relationship (QPR)
A committed relationship not defined by conventional romance/sex expectations. QPRs can include deep emotional intimacy, cohabitation, shared finances, co-parenting, or life partnership—without fitting a typical “dating” script.
Platonic partnership
A committed partnership where people share life decisions and support without centering romance or sex. Many people on the ace/aro spectrum use this language.
Compulsory heterosexuality (“comphet”)
A concept describing social pressure to assume you’re straight (and interpret your feelings through that lens). You’ll see it in discussions about late-in-life coming out and identity exploration.
Even in monogamy, the basics are the same: communicate clearly, set boundaries, and practice consent as a daily habit—not a one-time checkbox.
Queer slang: how people actually talk
Not all LGBTQ+ language comes from organizations or textbooks. A lot comes from subcultures—ballroom, drag, nightlife, online spaces, dating apps. Slang can create belonging, but it can also stereotype bodies and identities. Use it with a light touch and pay attention to context.
For a bigger list, see Grindr’s guide to gay slang. Below are some common terms you might run into:
Baby gay
Someone newly out or newly exploring queer life. Often affectionate, but don’t use it to talk down to someone.
Bear
A subculture term often used for bigger, hairier men (or a rugged vibe). Many bear communities emphasize body-positivity and chosen family.
Cub
Often used for a younger bear, or someone bear-adjacent. Like most labels, it’s subjective and self-chosen.
Otter
Often used for a slimmer, hairier man—“bear-ish but lean.” Playful, but still a body category, so be mindful.
Twink
A common term for a youthful, slim guy. Some embrace it; others feel it carries ageism or narrow beauty standards.
Twunk
A blend of “twink” and “hunk”—often used for someone who reads as twink-y but more muscular.
Read / Reading
A sharp, witty critique—often playful, sometimes brutal. A verbal sparring match calling out flaws with style.
Throw shade
Delivering subtle (or not-so-subtle) insults, often with humor. Consent matters even in jokes.
Gold star
A controversial label for someone who has never had sex with a different gender. Many criticize it as purity-coded or elitist.
Mother
A term of admiration with roots in ballroom and chosen-family culture. Often used as a compliment for a respected icon.
Queen
Can be affectionate, but historically also used as a slur. Context and relationship matter.
Chaser
Someone who fixates on a body type or identity with fetishizing vibes (e.g., “trans chaser”).
My take: Slang is fun when it builds community and less fun when it turns people into categories. If you’re unsure, ask how someone feels about a label before you use it for them.
Sexual health & adult terminology (educational)
Content note
This section discusses adult sexual terminology in a clinical, educational way. If you’d rather skip it, jump to the inclusive language cheat sheet.
If you want a wide glossary of queer erotic terms (with sex-educator context), browse: Them’s “Gay Sex 101” list.
Consent
Clear, freely given agreement to an activity. Consent can be revoked at any time. Silence, pressure, or fear are not consent.
- Practical framing: Ask, listen, accept “no” without negotiation.
- Ongoing: Consent is a conversation, not a single question.
BDSM
An umbrella acronym for consensual kink practices (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism). Many communities emphasize negotiation, boundaries, and aftercare.
Kink
A broad term for sexual interests outside “vanilla” cultural norms. Kink can be about sensation, role, power, aesthetics, or fantasy.
Aftercare
Emotional/physical care people give each other after sex or kink—check-ins, hydration, cuddling, reassurance, or whatever helps partners feel grounded.
Top / Bottom / Vers
Common terms describing sexual roles—especially in queer contexts. These roles do not automatically map to personality or relationship power.
- Nuance: Roles don’t “prove” masculinity/femininity.
- Flexibility: Many people shift roles depending on partner, mood, or relationship.
Outercourse
A catch-all term for sexual intimacy without penetration. Outercourse can include touching, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and many other forms of pleasure.
Scissoring / Tribbing
Terms often used in discussions of sex between people with vulvas. Not every queer person does this and not everyone likes these labels—treat them as options, not expectations.
STI (sexually transmitted infection)
An infection that can be passed through sexual contact (depending on the infection). Many STIs are treatable; some are manageable long-term.
PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis)
Medication for HIV prevention taken by people who do not have HIV and may be exposed. Learn more: CDC PrEP guidance and Planned Parenthood PrEP overview.
PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis)
Medication that can prevent HIV after potential exposure. Must be started quickly. Learn more: CDC PEP info.
U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable)
A public-health message based on evidence that when a person living with HIV maintains an undetectable viral load on treatment, they do not transmit HIV to sexual partners. Learn more: CDC U=U explanation.
Quick sexual health reminders (not medical advice)
- Use protection that fits your activity: condoms, internal condoms, dental dams, gloves—whatever matches your body and your sex.
- Test regularly if you’re sexually active: especially with new, anonymous, or multiple partners.
- Talk about boundaries before clothes come off: it’s hotter and safer.
- Remember: “safer sex” isn’t only about HIV; it includes STIs, pregnancy risk (if relevant), and emotional safety.
Inclusive language cheat sheet
If you only remember one thing, make it this: use the words people use for themselves. Everything else is a toolkit.
Better defaults
- Say “partner” instead of assuming boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.
- Say “parents” or “caregivers” instead of assuming “mom and dad.”
- Say “everyone” or “folks” instead of “ladies and gentlemen.”
- Ask “What pronouns do you use?” instead of “preferred pronouns.”
- When unsure, use someone’s name until you learn their pronouns.
What to avoid → what to do instead
- Avoid invasive body questions. Instead: ask name/pronouns/support needs.
- Avoid “born a man/woman.” Instead: “assigned at birth” (when relevant) or “a trans man/woman.”
- Avoid “sexual preference.” Instead: “sexual orientation.”
- Avoid using “queer” for someone who hasn’t claimed it. Mirror their words.
- Avoid treating bi/pan identities as “confused.” Take people at their word.
Inclusive writing tips (blogs, brands, educators)
- Define terms once and link back when you use niche words.
- Write for people, not categories: “trans people,” not “transgenders.”
- Don’t collapse gender into biology: separate sex characteristics, gender identity, orientation.
- Use examples across genders: don’t make every bi example “men and women.”
- Credit community sources: link to orgs and glossaries for deeper learning.
A quick self-check before you use a label for someone
- Did they use this label for themselves?
- Is this context safe (workplace, family, public setting)?
- Am I using it to understand them—or to simplify them?
- If I’m not sure, can I ask respectfully?
More resources
Want to keep learning? Here are credible glossaries and explainers:
- Stonewall’s list of LGBTQ+ terms (clear UK-based definitions)
- PFLAG National glossary (large, detailed, family-friendly explanations)
- UC Davis LGBTQIA Resource Center glossary (campus-style definitions and concepts)
- Rainbow Health Ontario glossary (Canadian, includes 2S framing)
- Government of Canada 2SLGBTQI+ terminology (useful for policy acronyms)
- Planned Parenthood: Sexual orientation (accessible, myth-busting)
- American Psychiatric Association: definitions and pronoun usage (clinical language guidance)
- interACT: intersex definitions (intersex-led advocacy definitions)
- UN OHCHR: intersex people (human-rights framing)
- Grindr: gay slang glossary (culture & dating language)
- Them: queer erotic terms glossary (adult terms with sex-educator input)
Final note: You don’t have to memorize every term to be respectful. Start with curiosity, mirror people’s language, and keep learning. That’s how inclusive vocabulary becomes inclusive behavior.
